Chapter 7: Results and Anxiety.

Wow, it's been a second since I wrote here. There has been a whirlwind of everything and anything happening, scheduling time off, getting results, appointments... Let me tell you, the hardest part of all of this is the waiting. That sucks.

Last time I wrote in the Diary, I told you about a lump behind my ear. Guess what? That's not cancerous. YET. I know, I have the best luck, right?

It's something called a Pleomorphic Adenoma, and it has the chance to become cancerous later on if I don't have it taken out - so I've had a referral sent off for some more surgery later in the year to have that done. I'll keep that on the backburner for the moment, because there's more important things to focus on.

Since writing in here last, I've met with my oncologists, both medical and radiation, and my psychologist, a couple of times.

When I met Dr Quah, my medical oncologist, that was one of the most difficult conversations I've had to have.

I sat in the waiting room, almost ready to be told, okay cool, you need to have chemotherapy, because it'll help you. Well, that conversation did not go as I had planned in my head.

For grade II, Er/PR+, HER- ILC (my cancer type) Chemotherapy is a grey zone.

Dr Quah mentioned to me that she would recommend it as a "throw everything at the wall and see what sticks approach", but the only way to know if the benefits outweighed the risks were through one singular round of testing - that had to be sent to the US and cost $5000. No, I did not add an extra zero to that.

The testing is called Oncotype testing, and its run through a lab in the states who go through all of the genomic indicators in your tumor sample.

I would not have opted for this test, if not for one singular side effect that stood out to me when it was all being explained. Of course, the normal, exhaustion, hair possibly falling out, weakness, it's poison to your body.

But the one side effect of chemo I did not know about was neuropathy in the hands.

If I were to experience this side effect, it would mean that the nerves in my hands and fingers would be damaged, and there is a likelyhood that I may not be able to use them again.

It threw me for a loop, hearing this.

My hands? My whole career, my whole life revolves around them. I can't let that go yet? Imagine the one thing you've been able to do right your whole life, taken away. That's how it would have felt for me.

So, we opted for the testing. It was expensive, and it severely drained the medical fund, but it was SO worth the choice. The results took three weeks to come back, and we received them last week, on Monday.

No. Chemo.

With less than 1% benefit rate, it's not recommended. HALLELUJAH.

After sitting in with Dr Quah and celebrating this news, I forgot to breathe for a second, before everything else came back.

There's still more treatment to do. I had closed my books, for April and onward, while waiting on the information to come back, and finding out what the next steps are. Turns out that was the right decision anyway.

Radiation, and Hormone blockers are next up on the batting plate. Getting into the ring as my backup fighters. And you know what? I'm ready, with all of you cheering me on, I'm ready for the next steps. Thankyou again as always, for your love and support.

If you'd liek to show support to people like me who don't have all of you backing them, you can give to the Hunter Breast Cancer Foundation. They are amazing, and provide care, services like groceries, driving patients to appointments,, all the way to cleaning and mowing the lawn for those in need. And it's all run by volunteers. Isn't that amazing? You can find them right here - https://hbcf.org.au/ Once this is all over, I'll be running a big charity flash day for this organisation and more. I can't wait.

Next Up: Chapter 8: Radiation Super Powers?