The Diary: Cancer Will Not Win. Chapter 6: All At Once.

Today it has been almost a month since surgery.

It's January 15th.

If I'm being honest, the emotions I've experienced during all of this aren't something I usually like to display, but I'm writing this to be clear and open about the process, in the hopes that it'll help someone down the line, so that they can find a little solace in knowing someone else has gone through the same thing. But I'll get to how I'm feeling a little later in this chapter.

Since the genetics results came back, my appointment for medical oncology has been booked.

There are three different types of oncology (cancer doctors) doctors.

Surgical Oncologists

Radiation Oncologists

and Medical Oncologists.

Dr Park is my surgical oncologist. He's great at what he does, very kind, caring, and upfront about the process.

Radiation Oncologists are exactly what they sound like - they do the radiation.

And Medical Oncologists deal with medication - like chemotherapy.

I have been searching and searching to see if I can find out when/if I will need chemotherapy. Dr Park did say that it is unlikely, but of course for me, that's not really an answer, I need to know!

It's something that has been on my mind for while now, and my best efforts to find out only return with addages and stories from others - but I won't really know until the oncology appointment.

It's booked for February 9th - so I suppose it might be a little between now and the next update. All I know for now, is that my cancer was ER/PR positive - which means that the estrogen/progesterone (hormone) markers came back saying that my hormones feed the cancer, and that it's recommended that I take hormone blockers to reduce the risk of future cancer.

After looking at the side effects of these, it's not something I'm looking forward to.

But - surprise surprise - cancer has made me more wary of my own health, and want to get things sorted sooner rather than later.

For a short while, I've had a lump behind my ear. I used to get these swollen lymph nodes in front of my ears when I got ear infections - something that doesn't happen very often anymore, but still on occassion - so I thought that that might be it.

I decided it was time to get that one checked as well, and also to do some extra bits and bobs while i was already seeing the GP.

So I booked my appointment, and after a quick look, he gave me a referral for an ultrasound. Oh, goody, the last one went SO well.

While I was at the medical center, I decided that it might be a good idea to ask for a phsycologist referral, because of course, all of this stuff is so great for mental health, but it's a good idea just to keep on top of.

Dr Karan wrote me up a mental health plan to give to the psychologist, and after asking me a few questions he handed me the form.

I always expect to see the "ADHD" in those types of referrals, but this time, something different was in front of that.

Anxiety.

I looked at it for a second, confused. I don't have anxiety? Wouldn't someone have told me about it before?

Then it started to dawn on me, this accounts for so much of my personality as well.

It was noted that the cause for referral was the cancer - but it got me thinking back to so many other parts of my life that could be explained by this.

It's wild to think that even as an adult, that "Oh my god that explains so much" moment still happens when you find something like this out.

I also asked about cervical screening - and ladies, this is important. I was given a self collection kit, which made the process so much easier. There was no weirdness, and I dropped the kit back to the office within 5 minutes.

Now, that was at the start of this week.

As of today, I've been and gone for the ultrasound, booked appointments, and gotten results back. Perks of being a cancer patient, everything goes through quicker (that's what I was told anyway).

When I spoke with Dr Karan again, he said that my cervical screen came back normal, hooray! But the ultrasound tech was unsure of the lump behind my ear. They literally did not know what it is.

So now, as I'm writing this, I'm waiting for a referral to get another biopsy done.

And soon, I'll have that booked, and keep your fingers crossed that it's nothing bad for me.

Next: Chapter 7: Results and Anxiety.